It's getting close..

-Appreciation became Respect. Respect became Like. Like became Love. But because of your occupation you don't act on that Love. You simply dismiss it from your feelings because when night falls over peace you weep because of the battlefield and you weep for the battlefield.. You are broken-

I got some problems..

This whole.. thing is starting to get to me

I'm in so much pain

emotionally I'm broken and breaking..

It's all getting to me... slowly it's creeping into me and destroying me

and I'm afraid of what I might do to stop the screaming..

because I really can't take it any longer.

I hate being alone like this

I hate being in the shits

I hate being stressed out all the time over money

I hate being like this...

Ergh my mind is cursed with always wanting to improve and examining every little flaw..

I need some Salvation

And I think I'm going down the other road, the one that I don't really want to go down.

The one that either ends me up in the army or taking whatever I want..

The army is most likely to get me killed but I will only take that path if I have nothing left and given up. Because even though I might get killed out there, I am already dead anyway..

I'm just sick of losing..

One being Love.. 3 times already I've had to leave someone I could have had some great times with..

Why... I dont know..

It was suppose to be a sacrifice for my future

But so far I haven't found anything but pain..

I just need someone, no matter how many times I deny it I know I do..

I need someone to hold and someone to look after

Laugh with and all those things that make a life different...

I miss it dearly..

I miss you..

It was weird to be that close to you again..

Back a few weeks ago you lay on me and I forgot how you made me smile

I tried to kiss you but you stopped me, and for good reason too..

It was because of your religion and I respect that.

But besides that I shouldn't have even tried anyway..

I knew what it could have lead to, where it lead my emotions..

And when you stopped me I felt another part of my heart get blocked up with steel as I felt again the pain when I open up my heart..

And it hurt to see you walk away and I knew that that would be the last time I would see you for at least another year..

Owh how much I wanted to run after you and tell you, just to have you around a lil longer..

Hmm.. I wish I could rip out my heart, because it causes me nothing but pain

And kick it into the fire..

Two...

Well I wont go into the rest..

I always told myself never let the world know much about you, Because you just make yourself more of a target, easier to destroy..

Anyway I'm just afraid of what I might do..

When I snap what would I destroy?

What will I burn to the ground..

Or I could just end myself..

prevent this horrible screaming in my head and pain in my heart..

Where would I stop?

I'd simply take whatever I like and destroy everything that stood against me..

It worries me..

I pray, to a god I don't have, for patience..

Reap Your Freedom

Thought that it was about time he made a new blog.

This is goin to just be about my thoughts for over the next year as I survive till University.

Heart Breakers and Life Takers

incase you were wondering is related to special forces soldiers

Well you can guess what their on about.

ANYWAY

I discovered one of the most AWESOME pictures on deviantart the other day

It actually really inspires me to join the army.. hmm

But yes it's currently on my phone wallpaper and looks brilliant

"Morituri Te Salutant"

-Those who are about to Die Salute You-

Right onto the next picture.

Another Epic Picture.

This is actually featured on the shoulder armour plating of a fictional soldier.

And I've been hunting for it for ages and I finally found it...

She'll be the next to be featured on my phone wallpaper =D

Here's the guy I was talkin bout.

Perhaps one of THE most badass characters in the world...

ANYWAY..

enough ranting on about awesome pictures.

Wait I think I need skittles... till next time =)